I write this post on the following day after being laid off from the job I love. Failure..setback ..opportunity and dreams to be fulfilled.
The last two years have been the toughest, mentally, physically and emotionally. But has it phased me, has it changed me… Yes. It has. It has changed me, I am much stronger, free willed, rejection and failure don’t scare me. I believe in myself much more than any other time in my life. Here is my story…why I am 100% Chanelable.
“Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.” – COCO CHANEL
At 18, I finished high school, and when anyone asked me what I wanted to be, I proudly announced I want to win an Oscar someday. As I got closer to my twenties, I let go of my dream, A high achiever of sorts, whatever I wanted either won it, got it or grabbed it. High marks, a great education, a great job. Won the highest honour in my first year of advertising. And then I fell in love. Love blinds you, and I followed my sightless pursuit of happiness.
Moved to Australia, cause in my head ( my head defines a glorified unit of measurement for success) living abroad was the ultimate sense of achievement. I fought with my parents, left a fast-rising career back home to be with the man of my dreams. This relationship consumed me, I forgot the driven little girl with big dreams and traded it in for a life living as a domestic goddess. I had everything, a house, a career and a life I loved. I had a long list of friends that I hung out with every weekend to repetitive conversations about homes, cars and the next step to jump the corporate ladder. I sat on my couch every Friday night like a good Indian girl would be, coming to a beautifully adorned house with a false sense of contentment that, this is the life I was destined to live. The relationship became my drug, it consumed me and made me so dependent that I had forgotten my self’s worth. I resigned to the fact that my husband was a God and he could do no wrong. That life is as simple as it could be. But like any addiction, dependency on any one thing or person can be bad for you. My life turned into something that has changed me forever, I lost the man I loved most dearly, my home, my friends and an identity I held on for so many years.
“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.” – BRANDON SANDERSON
Was I battered and bruised? Yes severely. Did I survive? Yes, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this blog. My relationship had become my identity, and now without it, I was confused and tried filling the void with material things, new relationships and new pursuits. How long would this materialistic drive, this false sense of achievement last? Not for long. My job became my second home, accomplishments and high ranks, long hours, toxic sense of success, running after something that wasn’t my real passion. I was once again let down. I was laid off. And today as I write this post… I have hit rock bottom.
Am I scared? Yes. Am I confused? Yes, Do I give up? Hmmmmmmm…. No way in Hell!!!
In all of these years, I had forgotten myself as that little girl who had big dreams, and how I achieved those dreams through my constant strive to work hard and believe in myself. Being just myself, being true to myself, being the oddball, the black sheep. The bavardness, the strong-willed Chanel (Snehal). So today I welcome setbacks, failures and heartbrokenness cause it makes me. And with every challenge, I surprise myself. Today I have fewer friends, but they are true gems, warriors and examples of people who strive against every circumstance. I have a new definition for success, and peace mind is more important than a Prada bag. Experiences, individuals and family mean the world to me. And like a battered warrior I will soldier on.
What’s my tomorrow?
It’s the beginning of anything I want it to be. I believe when one door shuts, another one opens. I truly believe mine is a shiny red one with a golden door knob and endless possibilities written in bright letters.
This is me 100% Chanelable – Bring it on!!!